Gaslighting 101: How to Outsmart the Mind Games and Keep Your Sanity

As more people are becoming familiar with the term gaslighting, it is important to have an understanding of what gaslighting is and is not. 

Victims of gaslighting are deliberately and systematically fed false information that leads them to question what they know to be true, often about themselves. They may end up doubting their memory, their perception, and even their sanity.

Someone who is gaslighting might:

• insist you said or did things you know you didn’t do
• deny or scoff at your recollection of events
• call you “too sensitive” or “crazy” when you express your needs or concerns
• express doubts to others about your feelings, behavior, and state of mind
• twist or retell events to shift blame to you
• insist they’re right and refuse to consider facts or your perspective

What to do if being gaslit: 

• Turn to loved ones who can:
  • offer their perspective
  • help you get some clarity
  • provide emotional support
  • *Remember – gaslighting is worse when people are isolated.
• Take notes
  • Sometimes taking notes after events or conversations can help you remember them and retain more of the information.
• Having boundaries can help. 
  • “We seem to remember those events differently, so let’s move on.”
  • “If you yell, I’m going to leave.”
  • “If you call me crazy, the conversation is over.”
  • The healthy boundaries will show you cannot be manipulated and make it harder to be manipulated. 
• Meeting with a therapist can help you identify gaslighting, offer support, and help you productively address it.